Missing your life before the baby.
“I’ve waited for this moment to hold my baby…so why am I crying over my old life? “
Know that you may be going through grief….yea, grief.
It’s easy to hear the word grief and understand it in the context of losing a loved one. But grief is much simpler than that. Grief is simply experiencing loss…and in a way you are losing the life you once had. Transitioning into parenthood can be joyace and exciting…but also stressful and overwhelming. Knowing that this is normal can help ease that guilt and shame. Would we shame a friend for grieving the loss of a family member? Of course not, we nurture them, support them and become a listening ear.
A few ways to cope:
Embrace the Emotions: surround yourself with people you can be emotionally vulnerable with. Reach out to those who can be a listening ear. Sometimes we just need a good cry and someone to say “ I get it- it sucks, I hear you- here is how I can help”.
Ask Yourself: “What do I miss most about my old life?”. This article suggests even writing a list of these qualities and finding ways you can incorporate them in your new life. Parenthood doesn’t mean you have to lose your hobbies, your sense of self or independence. This is a transition period into a new life as “YOU” and as a parent.
Support System: They say it takes a village to raise a child- well that same village is needed to support the new parent. Communicating these needs to your support system can help immensely. For me it sounded like “ Today I feel really exhausted. I need to take a nap. Could you watch the baby while I go lay down”.
Above all else, be patience and gentle with yourself. Find what works for you.
